Nikki's World
I'm not wise and I'm not all-knowing, but the things I've experienced and the thingsI've exposed myself to have taught me that the possibilities in life are endless, which is why I truly believe that we can do anything- if we only put our mind to it. |
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
My Year In Review
It's that time again... Impossibly, it seems, today is the last day of the year. And since I've got a couple hours in the office to kill, here goes. Two events that had the greatest impact on my life this year: 1) Cindy's death 2) Grandpa's death Two accomplishments I'm most proud of this year: 1) Quitting a job I was good at, but didn't necessarily like, in order to start on the path towards what I want out of my life. 2) Setting goals. (You wouldn't think this is one of them, but I have this problem with setting goals. Since I KNOW I can do anything I want, I'm usually very careful about saying "this is what I want", because there's that whole at what cost question. Eh. Anyway...) Favorite movie of the year: Love Actually Favorite DVD of the year: Pirates of the Caribbean- I just found out last night that if you buy the DVD from Costco it comes with the junior novelization (which I've been searching in vain for for the last two months!!! Argh.) Favorite actor of the year: Johnny Depp =) Favorite actress of the year: Keira Knightly Favorite books of the year: About A Boy by Nick Hornby Random Acts of Badness by Danny Bonaduce Favorite CD of the year: Love Actually soundtrack Favorite city of the year: Boston Favorite vacation of the year: Boston Favorite business trip of the year: New York And finally, since tomorrow is the beginning of a new year, I'm supposed to say what my New Year's resolutions are. This year I've actually decided to have one, as opposed to the last decade where I've either said fuck it or come up with the usual crap like lose weight, etc. So for next year, I resolve to be a stronger person. I will say what's on my mind. I will not let regret be a part of my life. I will be happy on my own terms. I will make it my goal to make someone's life better with each action I take. I will follow my instincts. I will take each hurdle that comes my way as a learning experience. And I will not let anything or anyone (myself included) stop me from doing what I feel is right. Now if only I can remember that in my down times. Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Another three minute doctor's appointment- only this time there was over an hour wait for it. The verdict: nothing broken or torn, lots of fluid in the knee. Take anti-inflammatory medicine and stay off it for 2-3 weeks. Boooo!!! I was supposed to go boarding again tomorrow and Friday. And I am NOT missing two weeks in a row of swing! =(
But I suppose I should be happy because hopefully it'll heal completely. I'm so paranoid over ankle and knee injuries, because I've known people who's injuries NEVER healed properly (like my ankle.) Car's fixed too. The place I went to is actually really good- they got it done in 10 minutes! I think I'll be going back there. And I think I'll be going home early again. I've never been in such a non-work mood. It's still "the holidays" and I want to play. Even if I can't play as hard as I want. =( Monday, December 29, 2003
My room smells like papaya flower candle
So I tried tonight. I really tried. But I was thwarted. Damn. Tomorrow's horoscope: You can indulge your passionate nature totally and utterly today, get away with it, and really enjoy yourself at the same time. The astral influence encourages you to reveal all, explain all, and tell all. As you are usually very reticent about your feelings, preferring to hide behind a veneer of cynicism or some other facade, your loved one may well be astonished. Argh! Why me??? Now that the day is over I can admit I played hooky today... Woke up late. The tire store didn't have my tire in stock. Had to trade my car for my mom's car before work. Got to work at 10am. Talked to Marie for an hour. Worked for an hour. Left at noon. Tried to go to urgent care. Left after I was told about the two and a half hour wait. Tried to go to my doctor's office (the one that likes to give 3 minute appointments). Was told to come back at 2:30 so there would be no wait. Went home, ate lunch, napped, picked up Tiffany, traded my car back, stopped at my doctor's office at 2:25. The wait was over a half hour. Was told to come back tomorrow morning at 8am. We went to the movies. Saw Love Actually for the fourth time. Still laugh and cry with that movie. Shopped. Decided my knee wouldn't last more than 15 minutes at swing. Came home and proceeded to try to do something about my life. It didn't work. Sat in my room with my cousins and watched DVDs till I fell asleep. That was actually a pretty productive day, considering everything I didn't get done.
My horoscope for today:
The planets are encouraging you to take a hard line concerning a recent problem in an ongoing romantic relationship. You know in your heart that you are perhaps being a little harsh, but right now you don't care - after all, at least they now know where they stand. But if you do have any feeling for them, don't let this go on too long. You may regret it. Sunday, December 28, 2003
Today was more Christmasy than Christmas.
Bubbles knitted me a scarf!!! It's pink and fuzzy and soft and warm and extremely well made!! Isn't Bubbles talented? I think Bubbles is talented! Thanks Bubbles!!! Venting is good. Especially when you haven't in a long time. Thanks Jackie and Bubbles!!! My car is missing a tire. I'm going to be really late for work in the morning. It's COLD in here. So now I'm very curious. And chickenshit. And will one day soon have to do something about it.
I'm bored with my life right now. And for some reason all the new hobbies I keep picking up aren't working. Hmmm... maybe that's why I like doing so many different things all the time.
The state of my bedroom mirrors the state of my mind. My bedroom was officially declared a disaster area last week. The state of my office mirrors the state of my projected self. It was all kudos there a couple weeks ago. Anyone else see the disconnect? I'm hungry.
1) Using band names, spell out your name
New Kids On The Block INXS Culture Club O-Town LFO Erasure 2) Have you ever had a song written about you? Not me in particular, but I really like the cover of "Darling Nikki" by the Foo Fighters 3) What song makes you cry? The Christmas Shoes song. Oh, and also that cheesy Butterfly Kisses song. 4) What song makes you happy? Suburban Legends' I Want More 5) What do you like to listen to before bed? The sound of my typing r i g h t n o w WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: Blue and white plaid men's pajama pants WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: The sound of my typing. WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Ummm... morning breath after sprite WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: Cold. GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Only if I drink alcohol on a boat. HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Which one do I start with? GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: That would be a negative. LIKE TO DRIVE?: Only when there's no traffic and pretty scenery. TV SHOW: Queer As Folk CONDITIONER: Redken BOOK: Mists of Avalon- Marion Zimmer Bradley MAGAZINE: US Magazine NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Mango shakes ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Lava Flow THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Hang out and relax BAND OR GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER: How bout type of music- swing jazz BROKEN THE LAW: .... RAN AWAY FROM HOME: Yes. I was six. SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: Never wanted to. Just did it right in front of the parental units. EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: Sadly, no. MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: Once upon a time EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: No, that's called karma. USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: But of course. BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: 1993 Connelly Class Play- an episode of the Brady Bunch CURRENT CRUSH: Ha! Not even going to go there. HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: YES. YOUR GREATEST REGRET: Not talking to my grandpa more before he died. GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: Not me. I'm like molasses. YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: Is empty. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: Cinderella blue. WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: The Center Stage soundtrack w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t TIME YOU CRIED?: In the shower last week. I was thinking of my grandpa. YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: Do Christmas cards count? If so, this week. If not, I can't even remember. y o u r t h o u g h t s o n SPICE GIRLS: Do I have to think about them? DREAMS: They tell me things I don't want to admit. Saturday, December 27, 2003
Mt. High = ice = OW.
Drive. Board. Nap. Eat. Board. Fall. Half-ass board. Sit. Ice pack. Wait. Passenger. Change tire on freeway. Passenger. Del Taco. Sound of Music. Wow. Sound of Music is a great musical. Especially when accompanied by a massage. WOW. I think I'll go to sleep now. This day can only go downhill from here. Friday, December 26, 2003
Ten minutes till my scheduled bedtime. I think I'm gonna be late.
Whoa... waterproofing spray fumes make you kinda high. I got my new boarding boots. =) With bindings. That came with a jacket and pants. And new wrist guards that came with gloves. I should've remembered to buy more waterproofing spray. Six hours till take-off and counting! Anyone wanna go boarding the afternoon of New Year's Eve? I'm off work at 12! (I think.)
Argh! After much searching I've realized it's time to buy new bindings. Grrrrrr. I happen to like my bindings. They're perfect for where and how I ride. But no, they don't make very many boots to go with my bindings anymore. So now if I want a better selection of boots, I have to buy new bindings. Grrrrr. I hate strap-ins.
Yo Ho Yo Ho!
Yeah, I'm callin you! Tiffany and I set up my parent's new DVD player. Then we de-virginized it with Tiffany's new Pirates DVD. What a beautiful movie... to go with a beautiful Jack Sparrow. And lo and behold- my dad actually liked the movie! He stayed up an hour and a half past his bedtime to watch the whole thing. Hehehe. Bloom/Depp Pirates tattoo watch: 3. I've got my cousin's XBOX set up in my room till New Year's... Muwah ha ha ha ha!!! My mission tomorrow: find a store that sells K2 women's clicker snowboarding boots- preferably at a good price. Fail and I will be removed from Saturday's mission: my first snowboarding trip of the season. The most awesome-est Christmas poem ever! Thursday, December 25, 2003
Santa's gonna skip my house.
Cause I'm still awake. Wow, it's early. Giving presents is sometimes more fun than receiving them. Especially when you know you got everyone something they'd really like. My mom liked her DVD player. Tam-tam liked her Artist's Studio kit and her Simpsons Road Rage XBOX game. Tiffany loved her Pirates DVD and LTR Monopoly. And Steffi LOVED her new Care Bears couch. Hehehe... I've got pictures of that one. She's the most adorable thing! And she's the smartest 2 year old I know! My Christmas Eve finally picked up when we got home from midnight mass (at the new cathedral in LA- it was nicely architectured, but too beige for me) and opened presents. We got home around 3:30 cause we went to dinner in Chinatown after mass, since our house is devoid of anything actually edible. My favorite present(s) were the scrapbooking supplies I got from my parents and my co-workers (which really surprised me!). But then, the Banana Republic cashmere turtleneck that Tam-tam got me is a very close second. =) All in all, a much better beginning to Christmas Day than the lead up to it. So I guess I can go to bed with the rising sun and be happy about that. (And when I wake up I've got my cousin's XBOX in my room to play with. =) Wednesday, December 24, 2003
*banging my head against the wall*
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My phone has rung more times in the last half hour than it has in the past four days. Huh?
I've never worked on Christmas Eve until today. Is it just me, or is everyone fucked up in some kind of way? I'm not saying this because I'm in a bad mood, for once, I'm really just curious. I mean, it may be just me. They say like attracts like, but I've known a lot of people on more than an acquaintance level and even if it's just as "binge drinker," you could classify every one of them with some sort of textbook disease. So does that mean we're making up diseases just to make ourselves feel special, but that aren't really all that bad? Or is everyone really just fucked up in one way or another? Personally, I could've been classified as a myriad of things over the last eight or so years, everything from "binge drinker" to "shopaholic" to "manic depressive with paranoid tendencies" to "self-destructive personality disorder"- if that last one is an actual disease, but I bet it would be if some psychologist got hold of it! I've also known people who were/are "bulemics", "cutters", "drug addicts", "alcoholics", as well as few people who attempted suicide because of one these things or another thing. It's really sad when you think about it. What drives a person to do one or some of these things? Are our lives that bad? Or are we just looking for an easy way to feel "special"? Or maybe it's because we're all bored and have nothing better to do? It all mystifies me. Tuesday, December 23, 2003
 Compassion: You are there to share your sympathy with others. People would consider you affectionate and caring, and someone to look up to. Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait) brought to you by Quizilla
White Christmas is undoubtedly the best movie I've ever seen. I swear that all this new fangled computer technology has taken over and squeezed the life out of any sort of real acting in today's movies. For instance, instead of blowing up a car in White Christmas you get an awesome song and dance routine. It was amazing! Or maybe I was just born a few decades too late.
And unfortunately... And time goes by so slowly The nights are cold and lonely I shouldn't be holding on But I'm still holding on for you It's beginning to be extremely annoying.
There's no doubt that my job keeps bringing in new surprises everyday. Just when I thought I wouldn't be busy, I get an email at 4:45pm today telling me to send out one of our chapter's election ballots and materials tomorrow. On my half day. When I get to leave the office by noon. WTF? Merry Christmas to you too.
Even with so many people on vacation, there's still a mad rush of people leaving their offices at this time. I know. I can see them out there, with their brake lights and stoplights. Eh. So much for leaving early today. So really. How do you tell someone something that you don't feel is appropriate at this time? But that your subconscious keeps telling you to do. And you can just feel is right anyway. But not right now. Argh. Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today... It's just that everywhere I go All the buildings know your name like photographs and memories of love Steel and granite reminders The city calls your name and I can't move on... And time goes by so slowly The nights are cold and lonely I shouldn't be holding on But I'm still holding on for you Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today But I'm standing at your doorway I'm calling out your name because I can't move on... -Savage Garden We were standing all alone you were leaning in to speak to me Acting like a mover shaker dancing to Madonna then you kissed me And I think about it all the time Sweet temptation rush all over me And I think about it all the time Passion desire so intense I can't take anymore because I feel the magic all around you It's bringing me to my knees Like a wannabe I've got to be chained to you And when you looked into my eyes felt a sudden sense of urgency Fascination casts a spell and you became more than just a mystery And I think about you all the time Is this fate is it my destiny That I think about you all the time I no longer pretend to have my hand on the wheel because I feel the magic all around you It's bringing me to my knees Like a wannabe I've got to be chained to you I feel the magic building around you I feel the magic all around you It's bringing me to my knees Like a wannabe I've got to be chained to you And I think about you all the time And I think about it all the time Tell me it's madness I barely know you We were standing all alone you were leaning in to speak to me Ten steps back you're still a mystery Acting live a mover shaker dancing to Madonna then you kissed me I can't take anymore because I feel the magic all around you It's bringing me to my knees Like a wannabe I've got to be chained to you I feel the magic building around you I feel the magic all around you It's bringing me to my knees Like a wannabe I've got to be chained to you Tell me it's madness I barely know you
Wee!
Jay called earlier and asked what I was doing for lunch. For lunch we shopped at Best Buy and Bombay Company and ate at Ruby's. That was the best lunch I've had since I started my job. How do you always call at the perfect time? Thanks Jay! Happy Christmas! -Good Charlotte Another year, Another tree But this year you won't be with me And it don't, feel much like Christmas We used to watch the same old shows Sing Social D on the radio But it don't, feel much like Christmas This used to be, my favorite holiday My Christmas Eve was filled with dreams But you chased them all away Why did you leave me for Christmas? You left me lonely its true, Could you have waited til New Years? At least the year would be through... And now the misletoe's hanging For no reason at all And all the presents are still wrapped But you don't even call I took a walk to where we go There were lights and there was snow But it don't, feel much like Christmas And people ask me how you've been I fake a smile and say ok, But I don't, feel much like Christmas You used to be, my favorite holiday But now you're gone, I'm all alone And all that I can say Why did you leave me for Christmas? You left me lonely its true, Could you have waited til New Years? At least the year would be through... And now the misletoe's hanging For no reason at all And all the presents are still wrapped But you don't even call Waiting here alone Christmas by the phone Said I'm waiting here alone Spending Christmas by the phone.
Whew! That was a lot of swing. And one guy thought Mike and I were married, which I found incredibly funny because didn't I just vehemently tell my aunt that I have no plans of getting married within the next 10 years? Shoot. I'm a damn commitment-phobe. I can't even date anyone right now for fear of getting stuck with them for longer than I want. Anyway, back to the swing stuff. After being in the class for two months I can say that there's one guy who's really pretty good, who's in the level above me, but who doesn't apply enough pressure when he leads! And it sucks too, cause he's kinda cute and fun to flirt with. Then there's a couple other guys who are fun to flirt with: one who I swore was gay but then tonight I found out he's married with a daughter (I know that doesn't really mean anything) and another who's just really sweet and funny (and, of course, half my size). Hehehe... swing class can be fun sometimes. And funnier when people think you're married to someone. He even asked permission to "borrow" me for a dance!!!!! Good Lord. It's things like that that remind me why I'm not in a relationship right now in the first place!
I'm very behind in my life right now. There's so much crap I said I would do (I promised myself and others I would do) before now that's still sitting around. And it makes me feel like crap for letting others down and it also makes me all stressed out for not being responsible. Ech. Kathy asked me how I felt about moving to the East Coast at the beginning of next December. I thought it was pretty interesting how she brought that up a few days after I posted that I thought I'd be gone before next Christmas. Anyway, she said the "powers that be" are sort of buzzing about moving our office to the East Coast- either DC or New York- once our lease runs out, which is at the end of next year. Kathy told me that she told them she wouldn't move without me. =) Awww! And so I told her that I would LOVE to move to DC and could possibly move to NY- but that I'd need a raise in order to do either! (And God, what a raise I'd need, since I hate living with roommates.) Anyway, now it's got me thinking that I can't travel at all next year cause I need to make a dent in my bills before moving across country. But it's kind of exciting because it means I'm getting halfway to Europe. But then it's also kind of sad, cause I'll be leaving all my friends and family out here. And I've said over and over that my friends (a few of them specifically) are the only reason I'm where I am today. I am completely serious when I say that I would not have survived college without them. Literally. There were more than a few times that I would've DUI'd, starved/stressed myself to death from being too busy, or just plain driven into a pole from exhaustion if they hadn't been there to help me out. Awww! I have such great friends! So it's sad to think that I'd be moving away from them for who knows how long. This also goes back to part of the reason I'm a commitment-phobe. I fully intend on leaving for at least two years sometime in the kind-of-near future. So I don't want to find a guy I actually like and then be torn about leaving him here. That would just plain suck- especially after living the last 24 years of my life without meeting anyone near that level. On another note, I don't want to lose friends like I did with one person recently. I've come to the conclusion that I can't really call him a friend anymore, just an acquaintance. I'm sad about it, too, because at one time we could've called ourselves best friends. But we've lost touch so much over the last few years that we have no clue what's going on each other's lives anymore. And I've also realized something else- I can't consider him a friend anymore because we can't even talk to each other anymore. He's always thought of me as someone younger (and therefore stupider) than him. But even though we're both all grown up now, he still can't see me that way. And our conversations are always one-sided. He tells me about his problems and then stops listening when I try to tell him about mine. Or he tells me that my problems aren't as important as his- in not so many words, but with the same meaning. So I'm kind of mad at him and disappointed because in my mind, I've lost a pretty good friend. And I think the disconnect is there because we weren't around to see each other change so much, so we still think of each other the way we were six years ago. Anyway, whenever we talked for the last few years, he'd only tell me about his girl problems and nothing else. He almost refused to talk about anything else, as if I wouldn't understand what he was talking about. And since I'm not his shrink I got really annoyed by it. And now he hardly ever returns my calls and when he does our conversations aren't as fun easygoing as they used to be, they're always kind of forced. So I figure, forget it. There's nothing to base our friendship on anymore, so I guess it's over. Which really sucks, but I don't know what else to think anymore. And on a final note, I will admit that there is one guy (and only one guy) I MIGHT consider not moving for. He will remain un-identified, though, as he currently does not know this and I have no clue if he ever will. But I will say that I've known him quite a while and we did have a weird sort of pseudo-relationship in the past. But even with him I can just see the commitment-phobe in me running out and ruining what I picture could be the best relationship of my life. Wow, is that a delusion of grandeur or what? Monday, December 22, 2003
For once I can say I wasn't the only one having a dizzy spell! Of course, it wasn't me that was dizzy. It was our building. Cause that thing was swaying... and swaying... and then still swaying. It's about the only time I regret having two walls full of windows surrouding the three walls of our office. The only place my boss and I could go to that wasn't surrounded by windows was the doorway. Which of course was a good idea. God, I hope our building's on rollers and that's the reason why it went on swaying... and swaying...
Oh and I have to thank God for getting my god-daughter to Santa Maria safely this morning. And ask Him to make sure she gets home to San Francisco safely this evening, since they have to drive on the 101 past San Simeon. And also, can you please watch over my cousin Stanley, who is shipping back out to Baghdad this week? And also his older brother, who's been missing for two months now after he had a fight with his mom? Thanks God! You're the bestest! Sunday, December 21, 2003
My signature city: Seattle
Sleepless in Seattle? We don't think so. You may be laidback but that doesn't mean you're lacking in energy. Someone as adventurous and active as you is the perfect pairing with a city that's filled with fresh air, beautiful waterfront, snow-capped mountains, and plenty to do. Whether you're hiking, skiing, or biking, you lead the way to new heights and lots of fun. And what better place to reach new heights of fun than in your signature city? How about from the top of the Space Needle or Mt. Rainier? You can quench your need for speed in the Great Outdoors, check out a jazz club or a museum, and wash it all down with a fresh cup of java at one of the city's countless cafés — all in one day. Now that's something we can all toast to!
Why do I always feel like shit on the weekends? At least during the week I know I have work to go to and swing on Monday nights. Fuck. I just remembered I missed a meeting last night. Fuck. Grrrr. I have no desire to do anything right now. I just want to crawl back into bed and stare at the ceiling.
Last night I had a dream that I'd gone on vacation or a field trip or something with a bunch of random people. There were people from UCLA, people from high school, a few of my cousins, and even a few people from elementary school. One of them, a guy I knew in elementary, who was undoubtedly the smartest guy in our class (but also the nerdiest) was there. I only remember random parts of the dream, like the house we were staying in was HUGE and had a bunch of stuff to do, like pool tables and a jacuzzi and stuff. Yet, I was still bored. I remember that the doors didn't lock properly and someone mentioned to be careful about walking around nude because there were cameras. And then there's one thing that I remember absolutely clearly. We were all sitting outside, on the beach, on picnic tables for some sort of gathering. Dinner or something, I dunno. But then, all of a sudden, this meteorite (which looked a lot like a chunk of the city of Gondor, but glowing green) came tumbling out of the sky. And we all watched as it turned, end over end, in this parabolic arc towards us. And then I watched as it landed on my friend from elementary school. Only, it landed on him from about the chest down and for some reason he was still alive. And the next thing I remember is being in my room, trying to lock the door and wondering how he was, when someone came up and told me that he'd died in the hospital earlier that day. And then I just remember falling to the floor and crying. I mean really sobbing. And I remember I was crying for two reasons. First, because he was dead and I'd just lost another person in my life, but also because in the dream I'd liked him for a long time, and was starting to think that he was almost the perfect guy for me, but I never took the time to tell him. And then he was gone. Fuck. I hate it when my dreams tell me things. Especially ones like that.
Amazon.com UK sucks. Don't order from them. Fucking people. I placed my order on November 13 for my cousin's Christmas present and now they say it won't be delivered until after January 19. What the fuck is that? Now I have to go back to some stupid store to look for another present. Grrrrrrr. I'm pissed.
Can someone tell my why my mom is so fucking oblivious to the world around her? I hate it. She doesn't even notice when I come home and am standing right behind her. Literally, I was six inches away from her big ass. My God. It's no wonder she's so paranoid about being out on her own. She'd never even notice if someone tried to mug her until it was over. Bitch.
What was it... liquor is quicker? No... don't miss . mix your alcohols. Oops.
The 16 year odl bag boy at Stater Brothers laughed when he saw the peppermint schnapps and choclate milk. He didn't see the sangria that went with the Hawaiian Punch. Or the Smirnoff. My hair gets redder than my face. And from . for some eeason I coudln't put my lip gloss back on the desk. It's been a long time. Oh yeah, and Secretary is weidr and dgood. Saturday, December 20, 2003
Why is it that Friday and Saturday nights are the nights that I tend to be home most often out of the week? And why is it that those are the nights I tend to be most bored during the week (disregarding work hours cause those don't count)? I've got lots of projects for myself now- I have a new learn-to-knit kit, a CD I'm trying to make that's proving to be more of a challenge than I thought, LOTS of cleaning to do, and LOTS of books to read. But I'm still bored. Maybe it's just cause I'd rather be hanging out with someone, anyone, right now. Grrrr. I miss school. There was always someone to kick it with when I was at school. I almost had to barricade myself in my apartment if I wanted alone time- or do that drive up to Malibu at 2am. Eh. Maybe I'll do the drive to Corona del Mar right now. Or maybe I should go eat dinner, since, once again, I've only had one meal today. And since I live in the middle of fucking nowhere, everything closes by 10pm on a Saturday night. Fuck I miss LA. Maybe I should just head to the gym and work off this madness. Or if I was really off track I'd go on expedia and buy the cheapest airline ticket I could find and come back on Monday morning. Of course, that would mean missing my god-daughter tomorrow and I love her too much for that. Wow, I just used the L word. I don't even say that to my parents. I wish I could just snap my fingers and my room would be clean. I like living in a hotel, because people clean for you. And you clean for them because it'd be so embarrasing to have one of the housekeepers walk in and see all your dirty clothes and underwear scattered about. It's the one and only thing I envy about Paris Hilton- she LIVES in the fucking Waldorf Astoria. Speaking of which, after my conversation tonight I've once again remembered that I've been completely clean my entire life. The only drug I've ever used is alcohol- albeit I've used it in some bad ways in the past, as both an excuse and an escape. (I definitely don't regret the excuse part, though.) And since I hate the smell of cigarettes I have never smoked and never will. And until three years ago I would never have smoked out or swallowed anything I shouldn't have. But then you go to college, and get really stressed out, and wish you had something other than your bar full of alcohol to imbibe. And the only reason I stayed clean that whole time is cause I didn't fucking know where to get any. And my friends that did refused to get it for me, stupid friends who know that I've never done that shit before. And then when the opportunities came I was too responsible to take part, because hey, if you're gonna do it then you might as well do it right, eh? Yeah. Shit. Maybe I'll just go open up a few of the bottles downstairs. My dad won a nice big bottle of Stoli on the cruise. What else have I got to do when I'm home alone on a Saturday night. Excuse me, I think I've got something to do now.
One of my favorite foods is Filipino spaghetti. You haven't had spaghetti till you've had it Filipino style. If it doesn't got the ketchup, hot dogs, and grated Kraft cheddar cheese from a can, it just ain't spaghetti. Yum.
And then if you follow it with a Peach-Mango Pie, it's even better. Yum. For some reason I haven't had much of an appetite lately, though. And I think that's what's contributing to the headaches and dizziness. Cause I haven't been hungry, so I don't eat, but then my head starts to hurt and I start to shake. Oh gross. My room is disgusting mess. And my god-daughter is coming over tomorrow. And then we'll have guests sleeping over. And my room will still be a mess. God, I want to move out. My apartment never got this bad.
One of the things I like about Blogger is that I can post things without having to think so much about what other people are going to say, because there's no comment button available. Of course, I know I can turn that off in LJ, but that just seems like cheating to me. So here goes...
I haven't been in the best of moods lately. At first I was thinking, oh it's just PMS. Then I was thinking, it's cause I'm stuck on a boat with my parents. And then I was thinking, it's cause I'm still living with my parents almost two years after graduation. Now I'm starting to admit it's something else. But I'm not going to say exactly what, to prevent comments in other forms- like an unwanted IM or phone call or email. It's enough to say that even I can't say it out loud yet, although I have been thinking about it more and more over the past year or so. And I've come close to asking for help, but haven't crossed that line yet. The thing about it is, it's a vicious cycle. Because I don't want to tell anyone, because they'll think I'm nuts. And then they won't want to be around me, so I keep it more and more to myself, making it harder for me to spend time with them, because I don't want to tell anyone, because they'll think I'm nuts... See? I am nuts. Anyway, it just seems that it's slowly creeping up on me and I'm afraid that one day it'll be everywhere and it'll be too late for me to help myself about it. You know what I like about taking the train? It's like travelling the backroads of the country. You get to see everything, yet no one sees you. If you've ever been on a train before, you know what I'm talking about. The train goes through places that you'd never see if you weren't on a train. But you also get the most awesome views of the country as you speed by. That's me. The observer. I observe others and I observe myself. Only, I'm a little biased when it comes to myself. Like Samwise said, "You can't see the forest when you're standing in it." So it makes me wonder if I really am nuts. Or if I'm making myself nuts by thinking I'm nuts. Or whether I'll be able to see it once I am that nuts. So the thing about it is, I can't say it out loud yet. Because it's like getting off the train and taking a car. And for now I'd rather ride the train...
So I went and saw it. Return of the King. It was pretty good, but I still liked the second one better- in true Nikki fashion. I think it's cause I left the theater in a better mood. This one ended all awww, while the other one ended all YEAH! Plus, Legolass had a better part in the second one and Viggo just doesn't look as good as a king than he does as a ranger. But still, it was a good ending and those panoramic scenes are amazing.
I'm dead tired. And I can't think anymore. I think I'm waiting for someone to come and rescue me. My very own prince on a white stallion. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm the only one who can rescue myself. Friday, December 19, 2003
Awesome. 275-Pound Prostitute Strips AttackerComment: Only Bakersfield would have 275-pound prostitutes. And only in Bakersfield would someone be stupid enough to try to rape a person who was twice their size. Thursday, December 18, 2003
Wow, for once Blogger works and LJ doesn't. I guess that's what they meant by "the invite codes are gone."
Wait. Must put on glasses. Blind. Wow! I can see again! It's a miracle! So today is a green pill day, but it seems I somehow got a day behind. But whatevers. The green pills count for nothing. But they sure do put me in a bad mood when I see them approaching. What's with me and my friend's younger brothers...? Geez... one of them did elope though. Humph. Oooh, I'm tired. I can feel it coming on now... but I have so much more to say! Of which I can't remember. Oh yeah. My boss called me "ultra-efficient" today. She said it in an email to one of our chapter leaders. I think that's pretty neat. But then, I'm just an only child who likes getting recognition without being in the spotlight. Did I mention that I'm conceited too? I try to only bore myself by it, but sometimes I fail and bore others too. God, I'm rambling. Keri. Keri. Keri. My hands need lotion. I just felt like typing. Don't really have anything to say. I was getting jealous of all these other people's long posts, though, so I thought I'd come on and post too. But then, I'm on Blogger this time and not LJ. So it's kind of weird to be typing like I'm still on LJ even though I'm not. Hummm... The next two weeks are three day work weeks. Kinda cool. Even though I have lots to do. And I did something at work today that felt kinda awesome. I created a "Job Bank 2004 Pricing Proposal." Without being asked. Including charts and price comparisons and suggestions and considerations. It made me feel very grown up- something I don't feel too often lately. It also gave me a sense that there's some kind of future for me in this company, because I really do like my job right now. Why is this Christmas a sad Christmas? My dad officially said today that he doesn't want a Christmas tree. To date, the only Christmas decoration that's visible in our house is a Santa table runner on top of the piano. Unless you include all the presents underneath the table in the living room that my aunt wrapped for my mom before she left for the Philippines. Wow, that was a run-on sentence. So anyway, Christmas is sad this year. I don't even feel like it's only a week away. I feel like it's a month away. And all the Christmas stuff started so early this year that it doesn't seem so holiday-special anymore. Aside from the fact that I get four day weekends for the next two weeks, I don't really like this year's holiday season. It's lost it's magic. And I'm sad because I think this is my last Christmas in this house. If I can help it, I won't be living here this time next year. I really need out, because whether it's true or not, I equate living here with the reason I haven't had any interest in guys since graduation. Or maybe I should say, I equate it with the reason I haven't MET any guys since graduation. I'm just tired. And sad. And lonely. And I want to give a certain stuffed animal and a certain create-your-own-soundtrack CD to a certain someone. Damnit. Why still him? Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Yipes. Stupid Live Journal has taken over my life. What to do? I want to post everything on both. But then I start to forget. And I like to play with the mood icons and the "what music are you playing right now?" fields. It makes me sad to leave Blogger, though. I'm not ready to cut the rope. So I must keep cutting and pasting... until I'm ready to face the waters of the internet jungle without my Blogger lifeline...
Today's earlier LJ posts: 09:51 pm - Mmmm.... yummy! 2 Ewan McGregor. Big Fish. Good. I also saw Tim Curry today. He was driving his Jaguar into the parking lot that I was leaving after lunch. I think I was more impressed with the fact that I recognized him than the fact that I saw him. I never recognize celebrities when I see them. But then it made me stare into every car I passed on my way to Century City Mall after that. Bad thing while driving through Beverly Hills in rush hour traffic. Man, have I been gone from LA that long? I never used to be like that. I believe the jaded-ness has faded... =( 09:13 pm - Mmmm.... yummy! Today's lunch featured whole cracked crab with garlic noodles. At Crustacean. YUM. But why are they not open on weekends for lunch??? Oh yeah, and I LOVE my job. It has many perks. =) 09:41 am - Another day, another empty office Score 2 for Kevin and Bean. Yesterday was Ewan McGregor, today was Sean Astin. Yay for morning drives to work! Tuesday, December 16, 2003
People's stupidity makes me want to jump off a cliff. Get over yourself already, stop bickering, and do what's right for the world, not just for you. Motherfuckingidiots.
I feel cheated. I just came from my 3 minute doctor's appointment, during which time my doctor spent more time talking about the chiropracter I asked to request my medical records from her than asking me what's been up with me. Oh, AND it just so happened that my dad was there right before I showed up and she told my dad that a chiropractor was requesting my medical records- under the guise of "Is Nikki still covered by your insurance?" Even though I haven't been covered by his insurance in THREE YEARS. I have an incredibly bitter taste in my mouth right now and I want a new doctor.
Shit. Once the procrastinating starts, it just doesn't stop. It's now been almost an hour and a half since I've done any work. Fuck. And I have to leave early today too. I should just bring the work home. WTF.
Some people really surprise you. And when you get to read about what their inner thoughts are you think, "Wow, there's a lot more to this person that I thought there was." And it makes you start to think that you'd be attracted to them if it wasn't for other things that you know about them. Eh? Wow. I just saw a helicopter and a plane fly by my window. My back is totally peeling and it looks disgusting. It itches too. I'm still waiting for that impeding disaster. I've had this feeling for the past few months now, ever since my grandpa died I think, that some sort of apocalyptical thing is going to happen in my life. Who knows, it might just be tomorrow. Isn't weird when you can feel both hopeful and despondent at the same time? It's even more weird when you think you just used the word despondent in a sentence. Wow, I'm rambling now...
Because I'm getting dizzy again from too much membership processing...
Thanks Richelle... :-p 1. Copy this whole list into your journal. 2. Bold the things that you have in common with me. 3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you. 01. I have never been in a serious long-term relationship. I'm talking marriage material here. 02. I admire passion. 03. I am silly and random. 04. I procrastinate. 05. I have more interests than any one person should be allowed to have. 06. I love dorks who make me laugh. 07. I love quaint cities that have a history. 08. I love sitting on a boat and watching the waves go by. 09. I spend far too much time on my computer. 10. I am a romantic who pretends to care about nothing. 11. I don't work out as much as i should. 12. I wish I had the time and money to travel and write for the rest of my life. 13. I have a love/hate relationship with my gym. 14. I've never broken any bones. 15. I enjoy being by myself. 16. I love music. 17. I love wearing comfy clothes. 18. I hate it when guys forget how to act like gentlemen. 19. I prefer pens to pencils. 20. I like getting things in the mail (as long as they aren't bills). 21. I think most people you know will never understand you fully. 22. Y Tu Mama Tambien made me feel all hot and bothered. 23. I laugh at my attempts at writing. 24. I love people watching. 25. I use AIM. 26. I am not going to vote for Bush. 27. I love hearing new kinds of (good) music. 28. People who are incredibly talented annoy me, but only because I wish I was too. 29. I am a LiveJournal regular. 30. I trip out on how serious people think LiveJournal is. 31. I wish I could've met Hugh Jackman. 32. I love Moulin Rouge. 33. I want to travel through Europe for a year. 34. I'm nervous about the future. 35. I am larger than a breadbox. 36. I'm a scrapbooking and sci-fi nerd and a computer geek to boot. 37. As a child, I was so shy that everyone thought I was a bitch for not talking to them. 38. I hate mosquitos. 39. I like my new computer. 40. I own over 18 pairs of shoes. 41. I really enjoy thoughtful gifts, even if they cost nothing. Still, I'll like almost anything just because the person took the time to pick it out. 42. I used to get clowned for my glasses. 43. I miss having 3 weeks vacation for winter break. 44. I've never been to Europe. 45. I can be very shy at times and wonder if others perceive this as snobbish behavior. 46. I love silence. 47. Greek life isn't for me. 48. I love blasting music in my car when I'm alone. 49. I love DVDs. 50. Hugs are wonderful. As is cuddling. 51. I am organized for everyone but myself. 52. Because of my empty wallet, $3 coffees and $9 drinks aren't good things. 53. My dad is actually pretty smart, but he doesn't always come off that way. 54. I am quiet when I'm tired. Or really really loud. 55. I wish people didn't die. 56. I keep emotions bottled in. 57. I prefer small gatherings of people I'm close to rather than large parties. 58. I feel like people think I'm something I'm not. 59. I have little confidence with guys. 60. I've always wanted to be outrageous and daring. 61. I analyze things too much. 62. I find educated people passionate about music, art, and literature sexy. 63. I dance. 64. I like to pretend I can sing. 65. If I could, I'd give free health care for all. 66. I'm more creative with words rather than objects. 67. I love to read cheesy British romance novels. 68. Sometimes I get bored at the same time as I'm incredibly busy. 69. I don't feel I know one person I can be completely candid with. 70. I have never done any type of drugs- including smoking tobacco. 71. I used to be what's called a binge drinker. Now, sadly, I hardly ever drink. 72. I've never been to South America. 73. I love high-speed internet. 74. I want to be financially independent. 75. Too much of my life is wasted in traffic. 76. I was sarcastic even in elementary school. 77. I have a cell phone. 78. I have never watched Bachelor, Survivor, Bachelorette, Joe Schmoe, or any other such inane reality TV show. 79. I love random adventures with friends. 80. I love the beach. 81. I love my job. (on most days) 82. I don't watch TV anywhere near as much as I used to. 83. I don't like stupid people. 84. I intend to get married. Someday. A long, long time from now. 85. I like people who are honest with me. 86. I love mint chocolate chip ice cream. 87. I love being independent. 88. If I have to drink beer, I don't. 89. There is probably something else I should be doing rather than this. 90. I don't type with my fingers on the wrong keys. 91. I often wonder why "mahal" ended up meaning both "love" and "expensive" in Tagalog. And why if you add an "o" to the end, it means "thank you" in Hawai'ian. And why "aloha" can be both "hello" AND "goodbye" in Hawai'ian. 92. I love special occasions. 93. I love watching movies and reading. 94. I can't touch my nose with my tongue. 95. I love road trips. 96. I was born in New Jersey. 97. I'm not overly pessimistic, just sarcastic. 98. I haven't bought a pair of shoes in almost two weeks. 99. I love trying out new types of food and new restaurants. 100. The only reality TV I watch is Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, What Not to Wear on BBC, and The Simple Life- but only because I like to laugh at stupid people. Monday, December 15, 2003
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus...
You know what would be a real cop out right now? Getting knocked up. Because then I wouldn't have to worry about what I want to do anymore. It'd be all about raising this bastard kid and worrying about what's going to happen to him instead of me. Yeah. Such a cop out. I only get dizzy when I sit still for too long now. If I keep moving, it almost goes away. Except when I move in circles- like during swing dancing. Then I just get a stiff neck, sore knees, and a slight headache from turning in circles while being dizzy. You know that feeling like you're floating? Like life is going on around you, but you have no clue what's going on because you're just floating. It's like nothing matters cause you just don't notice it. As if you're just detached. Not even detached and observant, just plain detached. Hmmm... this must be what it's like to be high. But then I wouldn't know because to my knowledge I've never done anything that would make me high. Although, I swear that's how I feel right now cause I'm just... floating... weee... God, I think I'm going to be sick. Sunday, December 14, 2003
Love actually is all around. For the third time.
Marie is nice, she let me use her 40% off BN discount. Yay Marie! If you look at it from one point of view: I had a great time on vacation this week. I visited my family in Florida and took a seven day cruise to Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, and St. Maarten in the Caribbean. I spent one week hanging with three of my cousins and celebrated my parent's 25th anniversary at sea by giving them a new digital camera to play with. I got to go sailing on a 75 foot catamaran and go snorkeling in Christmas Cove on St. Thomas. I got to watch an awesome flamenco guitarist, Juan Carlos, perform in Puerto Rico. And I didn't work for a whole week and a day and I didn't have to cook, clean, or be responsible for almost anything during that time. If you look at it from another point of view: My vacation last week sucked ass. I spent one week living in a room with my parents- and trying to sleep through their extremely obscene snoring. (Even the earplugs I brought didn't help.) Our ship's propulsion broke down and we arrived two and a half hours late at Puerto Rico, thereby canceling our tour of the island. Instead of arriving at 5pm we got there at 7:30pm and still had to leave at midnight. We got to see the dock. Oh joy. It rained while we were in St. Maartin. For some reason the one and only tour I was looking forward to all week, the America's Cup Regatta tour (where we got to race actual retired regattas that have won past America's Cups), was moved to a later time, so we weren't able to go cause we already had an afternoon tour scheduled. The tour we took in it's place was shit. We slept through almost the entire thing. Carnival wouldn't give us our money back for the shit tour because there was nothing "technically wrong" with it. The food was mediocre, although the bread was delicious. Their dancers were Broadway rejects, although they were very nice people. The carpets in all the hallways were water-stained and our shower and sink had absolutely NO water pressure. (I mean it dribbled out.) And when we complained they only fixed the shower. The drinking water tasted like it was polluted. It was crowded. There were times when there were no activities scheduled, so we were bored out of our minds. Although, I think if I hadn't been with my cousins I wouldn't have minded not having anything to do. The upstairs casual dining had flies in it. And the entire ship just seemed dirty. I'm still trying to make up my mind on which point of view I'm taking. But I'm leaning toward the latter. When I think about it, though, I think I'd have had more fun if I was alone. Now that's a scary realization.
cause i'm too lazy to take a shower
I am: dizzy I miss: living alone I want: to have another week of vacation I have: two Philippine Centennial Barbies I hate: being stuck on an answer like this I fear: never finding a straight boy I play: cranium I hear: winnie the pooh clock I care: too much I smile: more than i should I wonder: when i'm going to be rich I poke: cute little boys who body slam me I love: surprising people I think: i'm lonely I always: wash my feet before bed I am not: doing what i should be right now I dance: every monday night I sing: till my voice is gone I cry: behind closed doors I talk about: myself too much I wish: for a good night at disneyland I keep: wanting more I am not always: what people think i am I can: do anything i want to I can’t: convince myself to want to date I win: at cranium I lose: at nothing I smell: like cigarette smoke I confuse: myself I need: rest I should: take a shower
Still dizzy. And tired too. Feel like my body's going to melt into a puddle on the floor. Fell down the stairs this morning. Good thing I was already at the bottom. Ooooh! Sun's out! And I swear I see steam coming off my neighbor's roof. Yay Disneyland! My friends make me laugh. I like them. Saturday, December 13, 2003
Is the ship moving? I swear it is. I feel so dizzy, like I'm going to fall down. It's kind of like when I used to get drunk in college... or like when I was on a boat going from the Atlantic Ocean to the Caribbean Sea. Whoa... did anyone else feel that?
Carnival sucks. And I'll leave it at that for now cause I swear I'm rockin so much I'm gonna fall out of my chair. Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Wee! I'm in St. Thomas! Hahaha... and even though I'm on dry land I still feel like the boat's a-rockin.
Randomness: We have a gimp boat. Marcos the bus driver in Puerto Rico is pretty hot. Juan Carlos is an excellent flamenco guitarrist. Went snorkeling in Christmas Cove today- I'm currently covered in salt and eating Coldstone's. Puerto Rico and St. Thomas are weird hybrids of Hawai'i and the Philippines. Okay, off for a massage! Friday, December 05, 2003
I just had the best Spanish food ever! It was yummy. And believe it or not, I sampled escargot, baby eels, mussels, and rabbit tonight. And it was all GOOD. Hahahaha... Oh! And I had the BEST red wine I've ever tasted- as well it should be for $48 a bottle!
Hehehe. I love my uncle and his expensive tastes in food. Oh yeah, and it helped that the owners and cook at the restaurant were friends of his. Yay Florida! Tomorrow it's on to the big boat and the Bermuda Triangle. Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Okay, so I leave for Florida on Friday morning. Am I packed? No. Have I started? No. Am I excited? No. WTF?!
And can someone explain to me what possessed me to pull 11 hour days all week this week? I know I've got a lot of shit to do, but goddamnit. I'm fucking tired. Oh yeah. And I leave in five and a half hours to take my dad to the airport. Yay me. Someone shoot me. Cause I'm an idiot.
My cousins went to the Return of the King premiere in Westwood tonight:
ambloyy: we saw orlando and viggo and elijah and merry(hobbit) and liv and peter jackson and ian and the guy who plays theoden and adrien brody and jerry o connel rob or rod scheider(the hot chick guy) and tiff got autographs from viggo, elijah and dominic but not from orlando! hahahahahha bruinpinay: SHE GOT VIGGO'S AUTOGRAPH??? bruinpinay: on what? ambloyy: a piece of paper! ambloyy: heheheh bruinpinay: oh lord ambloyy: and i was right in front of him! bruinpinay: hahaha bruinpinay: did you take pictures? ambloyy: he borrowed tifftiffs pen for like 2 or 5 mins! ambloyy: heheh ambloyy: oh yah, a lot of pictures bruinpinay: YAY! ambloyy: i got to grab orlando! bruinpinay: lol bruinpinay: you have to develop those SOON ambloyy: but the gurad yelled at me to get back! ambloyy: guard! bruinpinay: hahahaha bruinpinay: how early did you get there? ambloyy: did u see the 10 o clock news? ambloyy: it was there ambloyy: we got there late ambloyy: about 6.30 ambloyy: and when we got there john rys davis got there and 5 mins later orlando got there ambloyy: then viggo bruinpinay: wow bruinpinay: and you were able to get that close? bruinpinay: weren't there a lot of people there? ambloyy: oh yeah coz they came to us ambloyy: A LOT! bruinpinay: huh? ambloyy: AND A LOT OF PUSHING AND SHOVING AND PULLING OF HAIR! bruinpinay: LOL bruinpinay: HAHAHAHA ambloyy: STUPID GAY GUY WHO SHOVED ME! bruinpinay: that's too funny! bruinpinay: hahahaha ambloyy: it was so fun! ambloyy: viggo talked to tiff2 bruinpinay: awwww ambloyy: he asked her for her name ambloyy: heheh bruinpinay: dang ambloyy: im so jealous! bruinpinay: i should've gone and seen if he recognized me bruinpinay: lol ambloyy: we had 2 different spots to b sure we got pictureSambloyy: heheh ambloyy: oh yah huh?! ambloyy: he looks so old now! ambloyy: lots of gray hair! ambloyy: but still cute! bruinpinay: wow bruinpinay: he isn't dyeing it bruinpinay: haha ambloyy: ian got there early so we only saw him for a while when he was walking into the theater bruinpinay: aww ambloyy: elijah got there last and when his limo pulled up he had to run in so he only signed autographs after bruinpinay: you stayed after? ambloyy: well, we stayed till 9 but the main casts left b4 the film was over thats how we missed orlando coz we went to in n out to eat bruinpinay: awwww! bruinpinay: haha bruinpinay: poor tiff ambloyy: wen we got back only viggo, elijah, and dominic were left ambloyy: sean astin was still inside, we didnt wanna wait. bruinpinay: hahaha bruinpinay: how sad bruinpinay: poor sean bruinpinay: oh well, he's not that cute anymore anyway ambloyy: we drove around trying to look for the after party incase orlando can still give tiff2 and autograph ambloyy: hehheh ambloyy: IM TALLER THAN ELIJAH! bruinpinay: did you find it? ambloyy: hehhe ambloyy: no! bruinpinay: you didn't follow the limos?? ambloyy: remember where they had the four feathers one? bruinpinay: yeah bruinpinay: it was at the armand hammer museum ambloyy: that corner around that place and around dennys and napa valley all had limos so we got confused! not to mention the party hadnt actually started since the movie was still going on. bruinpinay: ohhh ambloyy: they had 4 huge buses to take people to the after party but it was taking too long bruinpinay: they probably just parked there bruinpinay: you should've followed the limos after people got in them after the movie! ambloyy: i dont know coz ppl with posters were standing around there too ambloyy: heheh bruinpinay: LOL ambloyy: ohhh tonight was so fun!
This is the reason why talking to my mother frustrates me so:
Our phone conversation this morning Me: "I can't do your laundry. I'm on my way to work." My Mom: "Oh, you're already at work?" ARRRRRRRRRRGH! Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Question of the day: "What is a Wal-Mart?" -Paris Hilton
The most messed up thing I've seen in a while (and I don't even like pets): Idiot wannabe-J.Lo brings her dog into Best Buy. She puts the dog on the counter while she tries to do her businesses at the customer service desk. The dog walks back and forth on the counter, looking like she's afraid she's gonna fall off. So idiot wannabe-J.Lo puts the dog on the ground (more likely, though, she did it cause the Best Buy person was glaring at her). The dog, of course, tries to run away. So idiot wannabe-J.Lo picks up the dog and puts it in her shopping cart. But not before trying to hold on to a leash while putting a 3-room DirecTV system box on her cart as well. At this point, the dog starts visibly shaking and doesn't move, probably because she's afraid she's going to fall through the holes in the bottom of the cart. Idiot wannabe-J.Lo then leaves the dog in her cart for the next five minutes while she does her business. During this time, she sees the dog shaking and pets her saying, "Awww, baby, are you scared?" At which point I'm sure the dog was thinking, "Of course I am, you fucking idiot. I'm in a shopping cart." Finally, idiot wannabe-J.Lo pushes the cart out of the store, with the dog still in it. Oh, and 30 minutes later my co-worker tells me idiot wannabe-J.Lo is back at the customer service desk. I didn't ask whether the dog was back too. My parents better love me. Because I waited at Best Buy for an hour for someone to unlock a case and give me the thing I wanted to buy for their wedding anniversary. And I spent $600 freakin dollars on that present. Fuck Best Buy. I'm pissed at them. See this middle finger- it's for you! Monday, December 01, 2003
Oh yeah, so can I just rant for a sec? Wait, of course I can. Damnit. This is my Blogger.
I'm overwhelmed. Too much to do! Membership renewals, board books, chapter elections, quarterly online newsletter, picture gallery, website updates, packing, wrapping, laundry, tutoring- AND ALL THIS BEFORE FRIDAY MORNING. I'm sad. Someone's getting married. I don't have any more FWPs. I don't have anyone in line to be my next FWP. And a conversation with Mike tonight made me remember how much of a tease/bitch/player I used to be- AND I MISS THOSE DAYS DAMNIT! I'm also sad cause my grandpa's gone and my stupid family doesn't know how to function without him. I'm sad cause Jonathan Brandis was an idiot. And I'm sad cause I don't make enough money. I want new snowboarding boots, a new camera, $15 million from the lottery ticket that I never bought, artistic skills, an Infiniti G35 Leather Sport, to be friends with Matt Damon, a caring boyfriend who knows what independence means, a personal masseuse, lessons at a culinary school, and a rubber-fucking-duckie. (That is not a duck that fucks rubber.) Watch. Come Christmas I'll end up with 10 rubber duckies.
So this morning, cute-boy-next-door was the first and only guy so far to comment on my new haircut with something other than a "Oh, wow, you cut your hair." But then it was followed by, "Okay, now let me see it when it's not behing your ears, like it should be... I like it! You should wear it like that, it looks really good that way." Which all leads me to think... Oh no!!!! =( Hahahaha...
I'm still tripping out over the whole a certain someone's getting married thing. Eee.... I need a FWP. There was something meaningful and insightful that I wanted to post earlier today, but I've forgotten it. Oh well.  |