Nikki's World
I'm not wise and I'm not all-knowing, but the things I've experienced and the thingsI've exposed myself to have taught me that the possibilities in life are endless, which is why I truly believe that we can do anything- if we only put our mind to it. |
Saturday, June 29, 2002
 I am a: Diva of the Sewers (Perverse Ignored Dysfunctional Adult) Your inner child is the Diva of the Sewers (PIDA) --singing songs of a golden era, when people ate dirt and had to sell their limbs for Burger King cash. She is frequently seen drunk at the wheel of your psyche and likes to crash through the plate-glass window of your emotional storefront. Think of what the child of Michael Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor would have been like and you have your girl. Whether you are talented or not at singing doesn't matter. Your inner child is covered in ooze. That matters. The inner-child-computing-device recommends getting your inner child to a celebrity detox center immediately. Monday, June 24, 2002
Ugh. Moving. It sucks. Among the myriad of other things I've been offered to do this week: Disneyland/California Adventure with three different groups of people Universal Studios with Tam-tam and Tiffany Vegas with Michelle, Tracy, and Chris Melrose (inc. Fred Segal's!) with Michelle, Tracy, and Chris movie watching shopping Not to mention the job interviews and actual life things that need to get done... WAAAAHHHHHH!!! Saturday, June 22, 2002
It's amazing how quickly one person's life can change. What's sad is that I have no fucking clue what I'm doing with mine. I'm just making it up as I go, trusting to pure dumb luck to guide me somewhere... anywhere... at this point. I know what I don't want, which I guess is a start, at least. But then what? I know I can do whatever I want to do. Getting what I want isn't a problem- it never has been for me. Cause I always get what I want damnit. (Spoiled brat coming out!) The problem is figuring out what the hell it is that I want. Cause it seems like I want everything, when in reality I only want everything because there's nothing I want in particular. Today I was thinking... I'm really good at logistics. And I hate trying to hype shit up to sell it to others. I'm a firm believer in telling the truth- from your point of view. I'm also meticulous to the point of annoyance. And I'm interested in a variety of things, so long as it doesn't go beyond a certain level of knowledge. In other words, I'm a "skim the surface" sort of person. Which isn't really a good thing, but if I can find some way to put all this to use, then I'm set. I'm waiting.... Still waiting... This is gonna take a while. So I guess till then I'm just gonna merrily roll along doing whatever strikes my fancy at the moment and just hope that whatever that is will lead me onto bigger and greater things. What a plan... Be on the lookout for the upcoming crashing and burning. Thursday, June 20, 2002
I'm starting to get that whiny I don't wanna move back to Buena Park feeling. I really don't like Orange County. Everything closes hella early... and so many parts of it are so fake... like Irvine... much more fake than Hollywood. Cause at least Hollywood knows that it's fake. Plus, this house is hot, dirty, and ant/spider infested. Gross. Would I be breaking everyone's illusions about girls if I said I really wanted a boy to mess around with right now? Hahahaha... Cause I do. But sorry for you, cause I'm very picky about my boys. And my one standing rule is that I need to have known them for quite a while first. Muwah ha ha ha ha!!! Short hair is kinda cool... cause you wake up in the morning and it already looks like it's done. I'm such a closet nerd. I like all the things that the stereotypical nerd gets beat up for in high school: Star Wars, Star Trek, astronomy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, reading and collecting books, theater, Disneyland, any dance that's not hip-hop... Too bad if you tried to beat me up I'd just kick you down! Hahaha! I HATE ANTS I HATE ANTS I HATE ANTS!!! I swear there are ants everywhere. I don't care if I'm like a thousand times their size. They freaking get into everything. I fucking have ant bites! I feel like they're crawling all over me every minute I'm inside this house. If I felt like this at school I'd probably be able to go to student psychological services and get excused from school for a quarter. It's disgusting. The biggest difference between the PI and here: PI- bugs in the house; here- no bugs in the house. So when there are bugs in the house here everything gets completely screwy. I hate this house! Wednesday, June 19, 2002
I just ended a 48 hour romp through the happiest place on earth and its neighbors. California Adventure is not as bad as I thought it'd be. Actually, I thought it was kinda cool. Not so good on the rides, but it has GREAT shows. And wine tasting. Heheh. And I can't believe how much Disneyland has changed in the four years since I let my last annual pass expire. They freaking moved the annual pass office to Plaza Pavillion! Now you gotta walk all the way into the middle of the dang park just to get your picture taken. But oh well. Cause now I can go into both parks every day of the year until June 17 next year! Hee! Wow, I'm actually done with college... I bought a Grad Night '02 t-shirt from Disneyland and everyone kept asking me what high school I went to and how Grad Night was. I kept saying, "Well, my Grad Night six years ago was fun. I'm not sure how this year's went since I didn't go." Hahahahaha... But at least I graduated this year. I overheard a girl wearing a Grad Night sweatshirt say that she's going into the fifth grade next year. Since when do they have a fourth grade graduation? Oh! And for the first time ever since I've been going to Disneyland, the Haunted Mansion ELEVATOR broke. We were in it, went through the whole "No windows and no doors... Of course, there's always my way... Muwah ha ha ha ha!!!" And then the elevator went back up. The operator lady inside was all "I don't understand. The doors should have opened. I don't know what's wrong." Hahahahahahahaha!!! So reassuring. So the doors open to the outside, operator guy stares at us like, "You idiots, why are you all still in there?" one family walks in, and then we go back down again. And for some reason, the doors opened this time... Go fig... Alrightee, I'm not really in the mood to type s'more. So I'll be back later sometime... maybe... Muwah ha ha ha ha!!! Tuesday, June 18, 2002
Nicole Anne Llido, you've just graduated from UCLA's class of 2002. What're you gonna do next? I'm going to DISNEYLAND!!! Friday, June 14, 2002
Oh Lordy... Now I've gone and done it. I've graduated. The L&S ceremony wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But it took freaking forever for everyone to march in. It didn't help that I was in the front either. Hehehe... I sat with Tammy, Marie, and Pia. Marie was falling asleep most of the time. Pia, I think, was actually paying attention- she would. And Tammy and I alternated between playing tic-tac-toe, hangman, signing programs, texting our friends, talking about what we were doing this weekend and this summer, making fun of the speakers, and taking random pictures. Hahaha... I'm such a bad influence. We had one really good speaker though. His main theme/words of advice: do the right thing. Duh. Actually, his speech was very well done, though. It didn't help that he was pretty cute either. Hee! So I took a picture of him. Marie's mom was sitting practically right on top of us, so she kept taking all these pictures. Her mom's so cute. She was taking pictures of us at the inverted fountain too. And she TOLD Marie to take a swig of Kahlua while she was in there- even though she literally saw some guy get arrested for drinking in the exact place 45 minutes before. What a mom! Hahahaha! So after dinner with my family I was supposed to go watch a movie with them and then go to Marie's place. But I'm so incredibly exhausted. I just want to sit. It doesn't help that I'm in a food coma right now either. I'm so full I wanna throw up. But the food was hella good! Miso glazed salmon and New Orleans begneits for dessert. Yum! Plus, I had like five bites of everyone else's food and dessert too. Ech... Too full... Awww... I just read my paren'ts graduation card... awww.... I'm sad that I wasn't able to take any flowers back here with me. But I knew they'd die a lot faster if I did. I got three bouquets and they were all so pretty! So I gave them to my mom to take back... Wow... I think I'm gonna crawl into bed early today and read till I fall asleep. Cause tomorrow begins the packing and the transporting shit home. I don't wanna move out! Boohoo! = - {
Yay graduation... not. I'm not in the spirit of graduation right now. Which really sucks since the L&S graduation is in five hours. And I'm supposed to be on campus in two. Fuck. I have to take a shower. Yes, I've been partying/playing my ass off since Tuesday night. No, I have not gotten anywhere near a decent amount of sleep. My fucking roommates left their shit lying around and they left for who knows how long. So on the slight chance that my family actually comes over after graduation I have to clean it all up. Fuck them. I'm not in a being nice mood. Tuesday, June 11, 2002
The sun's rising... The sky's turning blue... And I have two and a half hours left till my next final. :-/ I literally feel like there's a 50 pound weight on my shoulders that's pushing me down, and that it's getting heavier by the minute. I really need a massage. I've been awake since 9:45AM yesterday morning. And after I'm done with my last final today I'm going home home. And then I need to go to the bank, the post office, and Best Buy. I guess I'll sleep right before dinner... Eh. Oh wow... I can hear birds... I had this dream the other night that I was getting sick or something and I could barely move. As time went on I kept moving slower and slower and it was just harder for me to do anything. It was like I was slowly becoming paralyzed. Scary, huh? I always have dreams like that... where I can't run or move fast enough. I think it's telling me that I'm trying to catch up to something, but I don't know what that something is. Maybe it's myself... Oh gee, my alarm clock just told me that it's 5:30AM... I had this realization... that whenever I watch anything Buffy or Angel related before I go to bed I dream that vampires are attacking me at home. As in, they're inside my house and I'm trying to fight them off... Geez... I have the most disturbing dreams sometimes. When I was younger I used to have this recurring nightmare (actually, I used to have two of them). I was around 6 years old, wearing this old red coat with a hood that I used to have, and I was running in between the buildings of my elementary school. I was running because this huge tidal wave was coming towards me, but I wasn't scared of the tidal wave. I was scared because there were sharks in the tidal wave that wanted to eat me. I kept running up to all the classroom doors and they'd all be locked. And it seemed like I was running forever, even though I knew that each building only had four classrooms to it and there were only eight buildings... Disturbing right? I know I used to have another recurring nightmare when I was little, but for the life of me I haven't been able to remember it- and I've been trying to for the past couple of years now. Maybe it was so traumatizing that I just completely blocked it out... And now my recurring nightmares are all ones where I can't run fast enough to catch someone, or get away from someone. Good Lord... Wow... the sky's grey now... and the sprinklers have turned on... I really need to do an outline before I give up on studying for the morning. If I take any sort of nap now I'll never wake up... Monday, June 10, 2002
Lost in memories... I think I have that senior bug where I can't focus on studying anything cause everytime I do I think about something that happened the last five years... It sucks! My final is in oh crap... two hours... and stupid random things keep popping into my head. Like all the times I used to go to 3rd Street and Santa Monica beach with Ryan... and the times Francis Dulnuan and Cherryl and I would spend in what used to be 409 looking through a list of all the Samahang members and rating how cute/date-able they were... and the time Jonboy came over to watch Armaggedon... and the first time I ever drank alcohol at a choral worknight... and the time we played spin-the-bottle at a choral worknight- although that night is kinda hazy... and the Filipino Lit class where I met Jackie for the first time and we bonded over talking about how great Target was... and the time Jackie and Garrett and I left banquet early to go looking for haunted places in So Cal... and how scared we were after to go home alone... and the time I actually went to Mark Ng's apt to hang out... and the night that Ryan, Karen, and I watched Disney movies in my dorm room until we all fell asleep... and the first time I ever went to Dave & Buster's with Jay... and all those random times Francis Alcantara used to come over to my place to do whatever it was that he did... and hanging out in Leo's apt... and spending the two weeks before Fall quarter freshman year in Sproul, partying and NOT going to class... and getting to spar/mess around with the boys in my kali class... and Vegas turnarounds the night before a PCN runthru... and San Francisco and San Diego road trips... and Ja'a rehearsals... and endless, countless PCN nights... and random forays to Cerritos to get Cinnabon with Ryan... and random middle-of-the-night trips to Monterey Park to buy $1 boba with Jackie and Bubbles... and that time we went to McDonald's on Wilshire after choral and ended up staying till past midnight cause Mike, Roger, Randy, and Jonathan were beat-boxing and jamming and we got an audience... aww damn. I really need to study. Sunday, June 09, 2002
My commentary on tonight's Lakers/Nets game: Yay for Aaron Williams: 7min, 6 fouls. Muwah ha ha ha ha!!! Nets suck, LAKERS IN 4! Poor, poor Byron Scott... (Just because he's a former Laker I have to feel sorry for him.) Devean George is becoming one of my favorite people! Ack! Finals! In 41 hours I will officially be done with college. Woohoo! Now I only have to make it through the next 41 hours... Finals schedule from hell: Monday- 6:30pm - 9:30pm Typology Tuesday- 8am - 11am Anthro in the Media Tuesday- 11:30am - 2:30pm Semantics Blech. Friday, June 07, 2002
Today was my official last day of class in college. And I was 20 minutes late for class. Hahaha! I'm not sad bout never having class again, but I am sad that I'll be moving out of my apt in three weeks. :-( I like where I live dangit! Well, maybe not the exact apt, but I like the building and the area. If I had a choice I'd stay here. The only other area I really want to live in more is Manhattan Beach- like I could afford it! Eh. Okay, I'm just typing this cause I'm procrastinating. Hehehe... Still gotta study for finals... blech. Tuesday, June 04, 2002
Oh geez... it's almost 4am and the only reason I'm up is because I got stuck working on my webpage AGAIN. I swear I've reverted back to my freshman year. Talk about 360: A Revolution... (Whoa. PCN pun. Watch out.) That was the last time I stayed up this late, while procrastinating a million other things that desperately needed to get done, to work on my site. And that was the last time I ever missed this much class in one quarter... actually, I don't think I even missed this much class back then. Eh. I actually got work done today. Woohoo! Score 1 for me. I did more work tonight than I've done total for the past month. That is really sad. At least I can tell myself that I only have one week left before I never need to do it again... (Till I go back for grad school. But whatever... that's just a technicality!) Although, the thought that I only have one week left to learn a quarter's worth of material for three classes isn't very comforting. = / I'm so PCN'd out right now. I don't want to even think about it. I was telling Rex that I have no sort of withdrawal whatsoever. I'll probably feel it after graduation, but right now I just want nothing to do with it. So it really sucks that I still have to hound Janice and Row about paying Kayumanggi the $1,000 we owe them. And about the $70 music earned from doing the TV taping fundraiser, cause Bernard really needs to pay Joel for teaching him the Trad music. ECH. Then there's the PCN 2001-2002 CD that Norman and Pia want to do... And then there's talk of creating a PCN Constitution, which would be an addendum to the Samahang Constitution, which would be work that would take up the entire summer to write out, not to mention the fact that we'd need to vote on it Fall quarter next year to make it official... Ohmygod... will it never end??? Hahahaha... I was reading a few of my past entries... I'm so freaking vulgar in here. Geez. That's funny, I wonder if I talk like this in real life? Cause I really try to watch how I speak. But around certain people I think I just let loose... Wow, sorry to those people. And to those who aren't used to it, I guess this is the real me. Muwah ha ha ha ha!!! (I found a sticker in my desk yesterday that said "BITCH GODDESS" on it. I think it's perfect.) So I should really sleep now. Cause I've got hella shit to do... once again: Monday: I actually did work today! (While at Tam-tam's place... Haha!) Tuesday: Finish hw, turn in hw, go to class, pick up reader from dad at work, study/do more hw, go to airport, interviews for my 10 page paper Wednesday: Finish hw, turn in more hw, go to class, write 10 page paper while watching the Lakers kick some Jersey ass. GO LAKERS!!! Thursday: Sleep, go to class to turn in 10 page paper, read, dinner with orchestra...? Friday: Study. Saturday: Study. Sunday: Cram. Monday: Final. Tuesday: 2 finals. Wednesday: Sleep.  What WB drama are you? Like the kids in on the creek, you play cool, using those two dollar words and acting way more mature than someone your age. Even though you are usually calm and collected, you are also sensitive, especially when it comes to love and your goals. You are very ambitious, so it's often that you are found with you laptop/Palm Pilot/cell doing business or whatever. You have a slight(!) tendency of being whiny, but people obviously overlook this because so many people wanna be your main squeeze! Which explains how you've been linked at one point with almost all of your friends from the opposite sex. Like Joey, you sure do get around!  |